ethereal (f)airy

crow–teeth:

crow–teeth:

my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying “that’s illegal people can’t do that” and I find that so fucking funny

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For context

(via zutara123)

33,611 notes / reblog

tetsurc:

we’re all FOOLS just waiting to come across a fucking cat on the street. God Bless

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Zombie apocalypses are curiously lacking a large array of common equipment that could neatly control the situation.

re-jet-irony:

rensbogusadventure:

govthookercoulson:

“But we can’t build walls to contain them!”

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Moves by truck, train or boat. Ridiculously common. And see those holes on the bottom? Mobile by forklift. Also, HEAVY, even when empty they’re in the tons. If you had some warning you could string these things end to end for miles and human bodies can’t move them. Plus they’re nice and wide so you can comfortably walk on top of them for patrols.

“But we don’t have easy ways to kill them!”

Put the shotgun down you fucking idiot.

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No tires to pop. Heavy and slow but inevitable. Climbing required to enter and thus, relatively zombie proof, especially if you spend like an hour to protect the glass.

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A lot of large farming equipment can destroy cars.

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Want to guess what it’d do to a decaying human body? It’s not pretty.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Merely flattening them with common construction equipment or farming gear isn’t enough.

How about a

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tree trimmer that can mulch a tree top to bottom in nothing flat?

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OM NOM NOM NOM.

“But we need ways to move a lot of people that zombies can’t stop!”

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BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER. Deer don’t have a chance and neither does a zombie.

“But that’s not good enough!”

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NOW it’s time to call our friend the military because this ride stops for no one.

Do I need to keep going or is it clear the movies are bullshit yet? Seriously a dozen prepared people with heavy equipment licenses could clear an entire street of zombies AND powerwash it after.

Country folk can survive

Dude stack those connexes up and you got a sweet home. Lived and worked outta one for a year.

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201,389 notes / reblog

bunjywunjy:

gallusrostromegalus:

blasphemy-not:

gallusrostromegalus:

gallusrostromegalus:

gallusrostromegalus:

threeunrelateddescriptors:

gallusrostromegalus:

gallusrostromegalus:

I have.  A new recliner chair.
It’s very comfy.
but I am worried.

Mochi.
Has decided that the best place to sleep is between my feet on the footrest.
and when I have my laptop open I tend to.
forget
that he’s there.

I am going
to dump him onto the floor.

Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow night
but Eventually
He will end up rudely dumped onto the floor, 
like so much salad.

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Pictured: a cat unaware of the fate probably rapidly approaching him, despite me telling him three times now. He is too comfy to care.

Question: You dump your salads on the floor? Why?

Comorbid ADHD and carpal tunnel have lead to a disorder that I like to call “clumsy bitch syndrome” wherin if I get distracted or grab something wrong I will just… Drop whatever I’m holding? For some reason my favorite salad bowl is a regular victim. Also happens to piles of laundry, the TV remote, and sometimes knives.

I have a strict policy of never holding babies.

G U E S S   W H A T   I   D I D

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Mochi is either very forgiving or very bad at cause and effect.

Two different socks, t w o d I f f e r e n t s o c k s, T W O D I F F E R E N T S O C K S

They live in my shoes most of the time, so they’re the same by the most useful metric (Thickness).


In other news, 

I tried to give mochi a headscritch while he was on the stairs.

my stairs are basically carpet-covered slabs of wood, with no “backing” so you can see through them.  They’re also directly above the stairs that go down to the basement, so there’s a bit of a drop.

mochi

rolled over for bellyrubs

and fell

through the stairs

about six feet

before rolling over mid-air and catching himself on the floor/ledge above the basement stairs, claws digging into the wood like mufasa during that one scene that fucked up everyone’s childhood.

Unlike Mufasa

Mochi is both strong and not predestined to die for narrative purposes

so he hauled his fat ginger ass up over the ledge as I got to the bottom of the stairs.

he stared at me.

I stared at him.

Mochi then bellowed his loudest and most victorious of cat bellows, and threw himself into my chair and rolled over for bellyrubs.  Which i gave him.

i am afraid

as Mochi is a ginger like my husband his father

that my son may have inherited my Clumsy Bitch Disease

the nice thing about cats is they’re mostly immune to fall damage

(via knowyourmemedotcom)

52,238 notes / reblog

infinitelyblankpage:

battenthecrosshatches:

Me @ writers: you just make that shit up from your brain???

*squints at the three lines in Word that have remained unchanged for weeks* In theory

(via halfeatnsndwhich)

25,655 notes / reblog

rudjedet:

rudjedet:

rudjedet:

rudjedet:

rudjedet:

rudjedet:

thatlittleegyptologist:

rudjedet:

Controversial Truths About Ancient Egypt Masterpost

  • The pyramids were built by contemporary workers who received wages and were fed and taken care of during construction
  • The Dendera “lightbulb” is a representation of the creation myth and has nothing to do with electricity
  • We didn’t find “““copper wiring””” in the great pyramid either
  • Hatshepsut wasn’t transgender
  • The gods didn’t actually have animal heads
  • Hieroglyphs aren’t mysteriously magical; they’re just a language (seriously we have shopping lists and work rosters and even ancient erotica)
  • The ancient Egyptian ethnicity wasn’t homogeneous
  • Noses (and ears, and arms) broke off statues and reliefs for a variety of reasons, none of which are “there is a widespread archaeological conspiracy to hide the Egyptian ethnicity”
  • The carvings at Abydos aren’t modern machines but recarvings over old carvings. Sure they look like them but if you can read hieroglyphs and know that Ramesses II will even usurp the carvings of his own father just to be a little shit
  • ‘No soot on the ceilings and walls of the Dendera temple!’ is actually because of extensive restoration works and not because Egyptians were in on shit like Baghdad “batteries”
  • While the Egyptians were fine-ass astronomers they didn’t align any of their enormous and/or important buildings to modern star constellations, because constellations look very different now than they did ~5000 years ago 
  • The pyramid is the simplest, sturdiest shape with which to build and many different cultures discovered this in their own time. There were never any weird fish humans/aliens involved
  • The sphinx of Gizah is only an approximate 5000 years old; the 10,000 year/rain erosion nonsense is proven hokum
  • Speaking of that particular sphinx, the Napoleonic expedition is not responsible for its missing nose
  • Akhenaten was not a “heretic” by contemporary standards
  • Ramses II appropriated a lot of his predecessors’ buildings/reliefs and isn’t really deserving of the epithet “the Great”
  • The Battle of Kadesh ended in a stalemate (twice)
  • While they had feline deities throughout their history, Egyptians didn’t actually worship cats themselves. This was a later Greek/Ptolemaeic addition
  • It was not, in fact, practice to shave off eyebrows after cats died; Herodotus lied about that
  • Herodotus lied about a lot of things and many misconceptions about ancient Egypt can be traced back to his Greek ass

I can’t believe I forgot my favourite Hill to Die On

  • Seth was not the god of “evil”, and despite his chaos providing a foil to order, he wasn’t completely villified until very late in Egyptian history, when he became associated with despised foreign enemies

Hats off to the few of you who’re reblogging this with tags saying you’re going to check my claims later. You make me not entirely despair of this hellhole.

Here are some vetted Egyptological books/sources (that are by and large appropriate for a lay-audience) you can find most, if not all of the above:

  • Lehner, M., The Complete Pyramids
  • Wilkinson, R. H., The Complete Temples of Ancient Egypt
  • Hornung, E., The One and the Many: Conceptions of God in Ancient Egypt
  • Dunand, F. & Zivie-Coche, C., Gods and Men in Egypt
  • Kemp, B., Ancient Egypt: Anatomy of a Civilization
  • Bard, K., An Introduction to the Archaeology of Ancient Egypt
  • Stevenson Smith, W., The Art and Architecture of Ancient Egypt
  • Kitchen, K. A., The Life and Times of Ramesses II, King of Egypt
  • Sweeney, D., Sex and Gender (in Ancient Egypt)
  • McDowell, A. G., Village Life in Ancient Egypt:  Laundry Lists and Love Songs
  • Te Velde, H., Seth, God of Confusion 

Guys do me a solid and reblog this version instead of continuously asking for sources on the other versions thanks

(via halfeatnsndwhich)

31,868 notes / reblog

one-for-all-plus-ultra:

thedragondorks:

crazydane666:

I love that BNHA is so popular but I’m kinda sad because it would be hilarious to show a picture of the classroom and go “who’s the main character?” Because Izuku isn’t special enough or bland enough to stand out. It’s amazing.

Proof:

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If you haven’t seen it, point out the main character

please tell me it’s the demon pink smol thing

she is in our hearts

(via halfeatnsndwhich)

19,709 notes / reblog

gracewileysmith:

earthtogrounders:

Gay Denial (2009) 

Pencil on Paper

March 6th, 2009

Dear Journal,

I found out what lesbian means today, Ella told me at recess. It’s unfair because girls are so much prettier than guys. It’s like comparing a flower to an old shoe. But I’m not a lesbian, almost 99% of my friends are guys.

(via draculater)

32,039 notes / reblog

zeirra:

-ˋˏ ✧ ° ✩ Kingdom Hearts : Keyblades + Locations ✩ ° ✧ ˎˊ-

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6,112 notes / reblog
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